This is our first introduction to the boisterous Calamity Jane (Doris Day) as she arrives in Deadwood City with a wagon full of goods. The sequence extends to include her entry into the Golden Garter, where we encounter Wild Bill Hickok (Howard Keel); one of the love interests in the movie. Since, at this point, we're not sure of the relationship between Calam and Bill, we witness and interesting interaction between them as Calam introduces Bill as a "friend of a friend", and Bill hides a small smile.
Oh the Deadwood Stage is a-rollin' on over the plains With the curtains flappin' and the driver slappin' the reins A beautiful sky, a wonderful day Whip crack-away, whip crack-away, whip crack-away
Oh the Deadwood Stage is a-headin' on over the hills Where the Injun arrows are thicker than porcupine quills Dangerous land, no time to delay So whip crack-away, whip crack-away, whip crack-away
We're headin' straight for town, loaded down With a fancy cargo, care of Wells and Fargo, Illinois - Boy! Oh the Deadwood Stage is a-comin' on over the crest Like a homin' pigeon that's a-hankerin' after its nest Twenty-three miles we've covered today So whip crack-away, whip crack-away, whip crack-away
The wheels go turnin' round, homeward bound Can't you hear 'em hummin' Happy times are comin' for to stay - hey! We'll be home tonight by the light of the silvery moon And my heart's a-thumpin' like a mandolin a-plunkin' a tune When I get home, I'm fixin' to stay So whip crack-away, whip crack-away, whip crack-away Whip crack-away, whip crack-away, whip crack-away...
[enters town, tune changes, Townspeople sing/say:] Here they be, here they be. How's about a welcome? A peaceful sort of welcome for the gang [gunshots]
[Calamity Jane:] The Deadwood Stage is a-finally home again.
[Townspeople:] Well excuse my stammer, if it ain't Calamity Jane. Hi-ya Calam... - What you bring us today? New rubber boots? Ten dollar suits? Things to crochet?
[Calamity Jane:] Beads that sparkle like a prism, snake oil for your rheumatism, Calico and gingham for the girls. Gumdrops made up in Chicag-y, Gumdrops just a trifle soggy, And a genuine string of artificial pearls.
Here's a hat from Cincinnati, same as Adelina Patti Wore in every famous concert hall! Cast your eye on Dr. Bores' patent-pending hair restorer, Guaranteed to grow hair on a billiard ball!
[enters the Golden Garter, tune changes again]
Introducin' Henry Miller, just as busy as a fizzy sarsaparilla Ain't a showman and he's smarter, operates the Golden Garter Where the cream of Deadwood City come to dine And I'm glad to say he's a very good friend of mine
Hi Joe! Say, where d'you get them fancy clothes? I know! Off some fella's laundry line! Hi Beau! Aren't you the Prairie Rose? Smellin' like a watermelon vine!
Here's the man the Sheriff watches On his gun there's more than twenty-seven notches On the draw there's no-one faster, And you're flirting with disaster, When Bill Hickok's reputation you malign. But I'm glad to say he's a very good friend, of a friend of mine.
Oh! My throats as dry as a desert thistle in May, In the Golden Garter gonna wet my whistle today! Last to the bar's a three legged crow, Set 'em up Joe, Set 'em up Joe, Set 'em up Joe. Drinks on the house, Drinks on the house! Set 'em up Joe, Set 'em up Joe, Set 'em up Joe!!!!!!
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